Prioritize the Change

This blog is to post my experience about priority change.

The last weekend, when I were travelling in train which I boarded around 10 at night, I were really tired after office and wanted to sleep as early as possible. I settled fast on my birth as I wanted to sleep and relax at the earliest.

The so called Ticket checker came around mid night to check, if we are travelling with the tickets and correct IDs or not. I just fail to understand, what he would have done with those without ticket? I did not notice the train to stop anywhere in the middle of the way to make the without ticket travelers to de-board the train. Is it not a clear indication of generation of black money? Anyways, let us not get into the economic side of it. Let us just focus on the priority side of it.

I tried to sleep and guess what…..the snoring at the highest pitch and coming from 2 births was enough for not allowing me to sleep.  People, who looked the most civilized while sitting, are the most nonsense when they sleep. Idiots of highest order do not understand that they are in a public transport and they should keep in account the comfort of all who are travelling with them.

So finally I were awake and the noise makers were sleeping with their horses sold. And that is when I wanted my watch to run super-fast no matter it was a chilled winter night, on which usually I want my watch to run slowly and steadily……

That is exactly when I realized, how with time, conditions and situations, priorities changes. People remain the same and it is only their wants, desires, tastes and preferences changes with the time and situations around them.

At the end, important is to prioritize the right thing at right time in right spirit.

LOVE? L-listening O-overcoming V-valuing E-everything

Whenever I visit a store with Rishi to buy anything, either for me or for him or for that matter for anyone, he just takes few seconds to choose. Whereas, I always, being a choosy one, takes longer than normal to pick up something. Today, again while sipping my cup of tea, I were thinking that can love be defined by taking into account the time other person takes out for you? Whether it is for choosing something for you, taking out time to talk to you, or missing his/her commitments and plans just for you and to be with you, does all these things matters or count when you have to measure the love coming from the other side?

Short on time due to a busy schedule we are into and an image of a man in a hurry to "love" reminded me that true love is really so much more.

And while no one can ever totally describe love maybe we can look at a few of its components to remind us of its richness and what we might want to model better in the coming year in our homes and lives.

Love is sacrificial. Anyone in a marriage or other relationship must never expect 50/50 relating. There are times when it's equal and both partners should learn to love well. But sacrifice means just that - we give up something. Sometimes we have to give up totally because the other doesn't or is incapable of it for a time.

Love is long-term. It is not something to do just once or two times, but it's far more to love over and over, year after year. Real love lasts and endures through even the worst.

Love isn't selfish. Love isn't done for what we'll get in return, how we'll look or to have good feelings. Love totally focuses on one another for their good.

Finally, love is God - directed.  Every Holy Book says that God is love so we need to get our strength and direction from the source. If we try to love on our own, we will mess up. We won't sacrifice, it won't last for long or we'll probably take the glory by ourselves.

So, as for another year fades, don't let your love wane. Make it richer and stronger and more giving than ever. Love really is the glue that holds us all together.

Traedmill.... Strong Will.... Or "TIME THE HILL"......

Is Too Busy to Work Out is the most common excuse for not exercising?

Not only Surveys says: “No time” but I also quote the same reason for not keeping a regular routine of exercising. And at the same time I am surprised to read it today that researchers have a different perspective towards it. According to them it is not the shortage of time but they quote "Typically, it's lack of motivation, lack of enjoyment, negative associations, fear or may be self esteem".

Busy as we may be, we have less trouble finding time for television, social networking or even dull household tasks, studies observe observes, because there simply aren’t the same steep psychological barriers to those activities. The truth is finding moments to move is entirely within your grasp.

“Most people are in denial about their health,” says fitness-industry icon Richard Simmons. “We all have reasons for not exercising, but it all comes down to time management and fear. Fear you’ll get hurt. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of failure.” But what we’d be better off being afraid of, he says, is what will happen if we don’t exercise. How will a sedentary lifestyle be affecting you next year? In five or 10 years? “Will you have time for multiple doctors’ appointments?” he asks. “Will you have the time and money to take medication every day to treat high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes?” Just as important, what do you stand to gain by finally taking your health off the back burner?

Today, after extensive reading and web search, I could pen down these expert advices which can help me in figuring out the ways to take out some time for exercising.

1.  Make a Plan: The best way to make time for exercise is to have a written plan.

2.  Subdivide your to-do list: Take out a sheet of paper and create three boxes that represent the most important parts of your life i.e. family, work, yourself.

3.  Find five minutes: It’s OK to start very, very small. A five-minute walk can easily turn into daily 30-minute walk.

4.  Limit screen time: Don’t aimlessly surf Internet. That’s a surefire way to waste time you could be spending in more active ways.

5.  Think positive: “I am too busy to work out,” rephrase the thought in more positive, empowering terms, such as, “I choose to make myself a priority.” Or, “I do have time to be healthy.” Or, “I am willing to do something active today.”

6.  Socialize on the move: Instead of meeting friends over lunches, dinner or tea; meet them for a quick walk.

7.  Rise and shine: Exercising first thing in the morning will ensure you fit it in.

8.  Phone it in: Grab your cell phone (and, ideally, a headset) and get walking.

I will try to work on these tips and will see if they actually work for me or a new set of research is needed for my time management.

Atleast now I have a topic for my next blog which will hopefully be on the aftereffects of today’s research. I will be finding an answer to a question “Whether I could fit in exercise in my routine” in my next blog soon.

 

 

Best Friends for Life: HUSBAND & WIFE

I have been thinking of a topic for my today’s blog since morning. It’s almost half a day gone and I still can't get a proper opening line. I can now feel th epain of the people who do this for a living. And found myself lucky enough that I have not much to think about rather than just one person and that is Rishi. The follwing blog is also dedicated to our relationship. Simplest of all to write and choose from the dearth of things.

I will start with mentioning about the relationship we entered into, the poised, purest and the only one on earth which makes the saying go true “Two Bodies, One Soul” and this is Marriage. Marriage is that institution which we all have to attend at a certain point of time in our lives. And the moment we enter it, there is no looking back. Our lives, lifestyles, way of living, changes forever to incorporate that one person in our lives, whom we are married to. Beautiful isn’t it?

The other day I was reading something and found that someone has said, “Usually the husband regards himself as the head of the household, and the pedestrian has the right of way. And, usually, both of them are safe until they try to prove it” (Reader’s Digest). And the funny among all is this one “Preachers are probably safe until they speak on a text which tells wives to submit to disobedient husbands!” Funny it is.... But in my opinion, no-one is head or leader in the relationship called “marriage”. The moment one even thinks to dominate, there comes the bitterness in it. It is a mutual consent, which both, husband and wife, has to agree to. 

Rishi and I have been married for just two years (although after a decade long relationship), and we both honestly say it proudly that we are in love with each other and find our best friends in one other. We talk constantly and share almost everything possibly happening around us. Today I was just thinking what will happen or would have happened if we don’t have this kind of relationship with each other? 

Are we special or blessed in a special way? Honestly, we are not. I don’t want to be naive, but I don’t think it is that difficult to have a best friend in your husband—if you are willing to make the investment. I just followed these three steps and earned the best investment of my life.

I made a list of what I wanted in my best-friend. Being the simplest and easiest and a pen-pencil-black-and-white person (a person who loves to write every small little thing), made a list of all the qualities I wanted my best friend to have. And I just thought that it should be readable enough for the other person to understand. So finally it came out like this.

Wanted: Best Friend Prospective candidates will: ·         Make me feel good about being me. ·         Affirm my best qualities (especially when I am feeling insecure). ·         Call out the best in me, and hold me accountable to the best version of myself. ·         Listen without judging or trying to fix me. Give me the benefit of the doubt. ·         Extend grace to me when I am grumpy or having a bad day. ·         Remember my birthday, favourite foods, music, and art. ·         Spend time with me, just because he/she enjoy my company. ·         Speak well of me when I am not present. ·         Serve me with a joyful spirit and without complaining. ·         Speak the truth to me when no one else will. ·         Become excited about what I am excited about. ·         Celebrate my wins!

And then I decided to be the same for Rishi (my dear husband) that’s right. I just turned the table. I just thought if I want these things in my friend then probably by having just few of these I can be Rishi’s best friend too. And then I focused this effort on him and the result is what I am living today. I have all these qualities in him and we are in a beautiful relationship.

I keep sowing the seeds, until the relationship blossoms. As it is not always a path of roses or a humour to laugh on and so is true for our relationship. We also face the hard time and fight often but I make sure to go back to the list of qualities I made and then again everything sought out to be normal and perfect.  I remind myself that Friendships are like gardens; they must be cultivated. The key is to be consistent and persistent—without expectations.

Romance is important. But a solid friendship is the foundation of everything else. And I am blessed enough to announce that we have the strongest foundation possible. And this is the only reason why we can never plummet on our relationship, or on each other. All grace is to God!

Smile and the World Smile with You

Smiling is not always the Best Medicine rather sometimes it is the Best Disguise to hide the pain within.....

And it is so true that the Most Beautiful Smile is the one That Struggles Through Tears........

 

Therefore Smile through the hard times, even though it doesn’t seem to get better, but for sure smile is the first step to fixing things..... The strength is when you have so much to cry for, but you choose to Smile instead......

I lived the best example yesterday and it follows like this

Sir (S):    Your Mobile cover is full of diamonds and is shining beautifully. So this shows, you can afford diamonds even for your Mobile.......

Me (T):     Oh Sir! Thank you for the compliment, although it only for my Mobile. I just thought that since I can’t afford to wear so many diamonds myself, so I just thought that let my Mobile only enjoys a bit of glam world.

S:      Of course! But it really looks nice. And what made you  think  of  making your Mobile to wear such a diamond flashy cover?

T:      I am glad you asked! And I am surprised that you did not notice the broken body of my mobile, which can go off anytime if not protected by the cover. So you only noticed the flashy thing behind the original existing dull......

 

Hence it is so true that No one notices your Tears, No one notices your Pain, and No one notices your Sadness.... The entire World around will only notices the curve you show in the form of your Smile.......

But at the same time we should all try to create and live a happy life....  And that is possible only when you Tie It To A Goal instead of people and things.  And all you need is to create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny inner sparks of possibility into the flames of achievements. I have come to realize that just making yourself happy is most important. Never be ashamed of what you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion that you want and to do what you want. All you need is to ask yourself, before you do something is just one question and that is: Does it make you money or does it make you happy or will you have both? Stay Happy, Stay Calm and Tell the Sorrows and Problems to Wait!

 

We have all the right to Create A Life that feels Good On The Inside and not just one that looks good just on the outside..... And as it goes, Keep Smiling & one day life will get tiered of upsetting you! 

There is an added advantage attached with a smile too that it can be replaced for any emotion and words. If you cannot find the right words for certain situation just give a smile. Words have the potential to confuse, but a Smile only convinces...... So show the world and life, “A Smiling You”

Husband - Wife Conversation: which are not always on cup of coffee

 

Wife (W):   You do not understand my problem!

Husband (H):   And what is your problem which I do not understand?

W:               You do not understand that we should not be keeping any relation with your XYZ relatives.  Mrs. XYZ abused me for no reason. And this is her routine job of being impolite and always be ready to take out the shortcomings in whatever I do.

H:               See we cannot leave everyone for just a reason that they do no good to us. Why do you bother so much?  What if you do not think much about her or for that matter about anyone who is just not important to us? Can’t you leave the things then and there only?

W:               See, this is the reason I always say that you do not understand me. Rather you care for your relatives more than me.

H:               It is not about being caring to someone. Rather I am explaining you these things because I feel that I have that right on you and I assume that only you can understand these things better. I have no right to explain anything to Mrs. And Mr. XYZ just because they are not important to me.

W:               No! I know you cannot explain things to anyone. You can only suggest me to leave negative things and negative thoughts behind. And you cannot do anything about the wrong people (your loving relatives) around.

                   You can leave things behind because it’s not you who face it, but it is only me who has to undergo everything and that too so regularly. You always ask me to run in the shoes which I am wearing, but my advice is that you should only try and walk in my shoes once. Then probably you will understand my state of mind.

H:               This is something you perceive and probably this only is not allowing you to live happily with all the resources and people you have. My only suggestion to you is have some peace of mind and allow me to have mine too?

And usually after this, Husband leads a normal routine and wife ends us having even a worse state of mind for rest of the time or till the time they have any next conversation.

Many (especially SHE group) would think that a male cannot understand a personal front because he is over-occupied with the professional things happening at his end. Whereas, a female has to live with a dual responsibility of being a Professional Home Maker, so she has to deal with people (positive or negative) more often or more number of times than the male. SO she cannot leave the thoughts and bad things besides and lead a normal life.

 

My View (What I have learnt from my life in recent past): I think it is both Husband and Wife who have to understand each other. If wife does not want to do something and on the other hand husband does not want to leave that something, then they should resort to a mid-way, instead of parting their own ways. May be wife can end up doing just a bit and husband should not be too much involved in that particular thing. A balanced way is the only solution and then only both “H” and “W” can pursue a happy relation.

A husband should not always adopt an explaining attitude towards his wife. He should also try to listen to her and understand her point of view. On the other hand, a wife should not always adopt a complaining attitude. Rather she should also try to adjust, to certain extent, with the things and people around.

 

No relation is without arguments, sorrows or bad moments, but the shorter their life is, the better it is for a healthy relation. And it is only “H” and “W” who can mutually decide the life of bad moments. And the mutual consent, compromising behaviour, the importance to the bond they share, shapes their decision. As the saying goes, Excess of everything is bad. So being over explaining (which generally “H” is) or being over complaining (the typical “W” attitude) is bad too. Hence the only solution is that “H” and “W” should learn how to keep promises they have made to one another, how to live up to the words they have said to each other, how not to neglect all-together the each-other’s point of view and the most important being how to compromise for the lively and a happy relation with one another. Just trust each other blindly, and then only you can realize that the path on which the other person is taking you leads to GOD.

 

LOVE SHOULD ALWAYS PREVAIL.

Art of dealing negative minds around

Remember you are not a reason. Know that you're never the cause of their mood swings. They might have some unreasonable pressure as they cannot cope up with the weight of their pressure, have a bad home life or be incompetent to do their job. Do your best to not take anything they say or does personally. Acknowledge that, whenever their bad moments are outweighing the good, you can't possibly know everything that's going on with them.

Recognize what you can and cannot change. Every day we have to get along with people who aren't necessarily people we'd ask over for dinner or have intimate chats with. They are just the people whom we need to get along with from all walks of life, regardless of their personalities. So, what you cannot change is the people or their moods; only they themselves can do that after having an epiphany and maybe that moment will never come, so stop waiting around for it. What you can change is your response to peoples’ moodiness and the way you see it impacting you. Should you choose to see it as reflecting on you personally, you will have a much harder and less pleasant time than should you choose to see the them being of a certain temperament and liable to unleash moodiness on anyone in their vicinity. By recognizing that you cannot change them but that you can take a realistic perspective, you take the first step in improving your own situation.

Stay healthy and well rested. It is much harder to deal with other people when you're sleep deprived, hungry, nutritionally unbalanced, and lacking in exercise outlets. You can easily start to see the world through the lens of the small circle in which you're moving because work soon becomes everything rather than one part of your whole life. The importance of daily exercise, regular and healthy sleep patterns, and nutritionally sound eating comes to the fore when dealing with difficult people because you will have your wits about you, you'll feel strong in body and mind, and you won't be prey to the fears that can creep up unawares when feeling tired, despondent, and under-the-weather.

Move on. While people need to be re-educated, this isn't going to happen in a hurry, and quite possibly not within the time you spend with them. You have a choice to either stay miserable about it or to do something that improves your quality of life. If things that are suggested above work for you, great. However, sometimes the circumstances in which you find yourself are so debilitating to you that you cannot function properly and your performance continues to suffer. In this case, the solution may be to move on Take gradual steps to changing your situation by just parting away with those chunks of people. And for doing that and taking this bold step, the power rests with you alone. No one else can do it for you.

Keep sending the positive vides around and just believe in the fact that every time you subtract negative from your life, you make a room for more positive. And just a final word “Don’t let the NOISE of other people OPINIONS drown out your INNER VOICE”.

 

 

Week went by and left "A BETTER ME"

Last Week laid a learning stone in bringing out the better me. It has been a week when I realised that worrying for things which I can't change, getting frustrated about the people around me, getting stressed up for (not so good) treatment I receive from others and on top of that seeing the most close ones not changing even a bit for good....... All of this was taking me down on a lane where my health was getting deteriorated, positivity in me was taking a back seat, socializing was the last thing on my "things to do list", the charm i always use to carry seems to leave me behind......In short I've just lost my goody goody self in the materialitic, tension giving world somewhere.

Now I have understood that the world will never change for me, nor does crazy people stop to exist, neither they will change their behaviour nor their self for any dam thing or for anyone. All I have learnt over a last week is to be ur own self and stop geting stressed up for the things and people who just don't deserve even a single second of your thoughts.

Hence all i have to sum up is that "I no longer have patience for certain things, not because i have become arrogant but simply because i have reached to a point in my life where i do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurt me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. 

I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not adjust to popular gossiping and hate conflict and comparisions. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience. 

FINALLY: A Better Me From "A" to "Z"

Do Opposites Really Attract?

Did you ever think that it was a cruel joke of nature that most of us find ourselves attracted to people very much unlike us? I mean, wouldn’t it be an awful lot simpler and a lot less messy if we tended to be drawn to those whose personalities are more like our own rather than those who seem like they are polar opposites of us.

Do opposites really attract? Is it good if they do?

It depends what you mean by "opposite." "I believe unresolved patterns attract," says Paul Cutright, author of You're Never Upset for the Reason You Think. "What most people call falling in love is really falling in pattern," he says.

While sipping a cup of coffee, it just strikes in my head that I like coffee, but my man prefers not to have anything if offered coffee. He is a pure non-vegetarian, and I am not even an eggitarian. I like cake, pastries and stuff full with cream whereas he likes to have every bakery item without cream. I cannot have pizza without cold drink but he doesn’t want to waste space for pizza with a stock of cold drink in his stomach. I hate roasted veggies at any point in time but he loves to have it at any time and in any or even every meal. I love to write a long mail whereas all his relies are just in one word or at the most in one line. I love to talk over the phone for hours and hours and he thinks it’s a waste of time to talk over that stupid rectangular device. I love chocolates and he hates to the extent that everything in that flavour also is a “dump in dustbin” thing for him. I hate to brush my teeth and he is extra possessive for his (which are very well maintained already). I don’t care much about my car till the time it is efficient enough to take me to places but he keeps his car like a newly wedded bride (always shining and beautiful). We are poles apart and have almost nothing in common except that we both love each other and can not imagine a day without each other.

 

It’s “difference” that makes relationships edgy, dynamic and exciting. And there is a fine balance between having enough danger in a relationship to make it stimulating and to keep it from dying from a lack of excitement.

So conclusively I found that the Relationships are about getting our own needs met, often on an unconscious basis. In other words, we try to find someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal, and grow.

 

I love my Man, the way he is..... Very different and always have something to amaze me with.... I love the differences we share. I love the way we are i.e. OPPOSITE TO EACH OTHER and probably that is the main ingredient that makes our relationship tasty, yummy and healthy.  I am so incomplete without this different man being a part of me. He completes me and gives me a reason to smile and live.

 

 

Marriage is Beautiful

They just say that there are no prescribed rules to be in a perfect marriage. There are no do and don’t for a marriage. All we have is a successful marriage that is created. In marriage, the little things are the big things. It’s never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say I LOVE YOU at the end of each day. It is never going to bed angry. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other a safe place to grow. It is not only marrying the right person, rather it means being a right partner. You just have to fight for your marriage with love, forgiveness and happiness. It is to remember that marriage is beautiful in sickness and in health. A beautiful marriage requires falling in love many a times, always with the same person.

 

And here I proudly declare that I am into a PERFECT MARRIAGE. He has the best heart a man could possibly have. He is always treating me like a QUEEN. He is the best thing that has happened to me. He is my sun and moon.

It is two years now since when we treasure the diversity of our relationship because we have had to fight for it. Love wasn't always easy but it has been beautiful every minute. We are very different! He needs to be pushed and I am a go-getter. I am emotional and he is practical. He is forgetful, and I remember the smallest of things. I am a control freak and he is a laidback. May be we are opposite but both of us cannot imagine a single day without each other.

There have been so many rough patches along the way, all unexpected and very hard to smooth. We have gone through so many trial and problems but together we have conquered them all and will still conquer more. I am glad and proud to say that I wouldn’t want it any other way, but to go through it all with him.

Many a times our differences have pushed us away from each other but destiny has the way for keeping us together. This happens just because at the end of every bad day we always realize that no one would understand our faults better than we each other, and then again we fall for each other. Following all we never forget to start our mornings with love and care and sleep only after thanking lord for blessing us with each other.

 

We have been into a "PERFECT MARRIAGE" just because we two imperfect people refused to give up on each other. I just want to say that a lot has been possible because of the unshakeable pillar of support that my man " Rishi " has been.

God is good to us and marriage cannot be any more beautiful than it already is. I love him more today than the day we got married. All glory and honour is to God.