Best Friends for Life: HUSBAND & WIFE

I have been thinking of a topic for my today’s blog since morning. It’s almost half a day gone and I still can't get a proper opening line. I can now feel th epain of the people who do this for a living. And found myself lucky enough that I have not much to think about rather than just one person and that is Rishi. The follwing blog is also dedicated to our relationship. Simplest of all to write and choose from the dearth of things.

I will start with mentioning about the relationship we entered into, the poised, purest and the only one on earth which makes the saying go true “Two Bodies, One Soul” and this is Marriage. Marriage is that institution which we all have to attend at a certain point of time in our lives. And the moment we enter it, there is no looking back. Our lives, lifestyles, way of living, changes forever to incorporate that one person in our lives, whom we are married to. Beautiful isn’t it?

The other day I was reading something and found that someone has said, “Usually the husband regards himself as the head of the household, and the pedestrian has the right of way. And, usually, both of them are safe until they try to prove it” (Reader’s Digest). And the funny among all is this one “Preachers are probably safe until they speak on a text which tells wives to submit to disobedient husbands!” Funny it is.... But in my opinion, no-one is head or leader in the relationship called “marriage”. The moment one even thinks to dominate, there comes the bitterness in it. It is a mutual consent, which both, husband and wife, has to agree to. 

Rishi and I have been married for just two years (although after a decade long relationship), and we both honestly say it proudly that we are in love with each other and find our best friends in one other. We talk constantly and share almost everything possibly happening around us. Today I was just thinking what will happen or would have happened if we don’t have this kind of relationship with each other? 

Are we special or blessed in a special way? Honestly, we are not. I don’t want to be naive, but I don’t think it is that difficult to have a best friend in your husband—if you are willing to make the investment. I just followed these three steps and earned the best investment of my life.

I made a list of what I wanted in my best-friend. Being the simplest and easiest and a pen-pencil-black-and-white person (a person who loves to write every small little thing), made a list of all the qualities I wanted my best friend to have. And I just thought that it should be readable enough for the other person to understand. So finally it came out like this.

Wanted: Best Friend Prospective candidates will: ·         Make me feel good about being me. ·         Affirm my best qualities (especially when I am feeling insecure). ·         Call out the best in me, and hold me accountable to the best version of myself. ·         Listen without judging or trying to fix me. Give me the benefit of the doubt. ·         Extend grace to me when I am grumpy or having a bad day. ·         Remember my birthday, favourite foods, music, and art. ·         Spend time with me, just because he/she enjoy my company. ·         Speak well of me when I am not present. ·         Serve me with a joyful spirit and without complaining. ·         Speak the truth to me when no one else will. ·         Become excited about what I am excited about. ·         Celebrate my wins!

And then I decided to be the same for Rishi (my dear husband) that’s right. I just turned the table. I just thought if I want these things in my friend then probably by having just few of these I can be Rishi’s best friend too. And then I focused this effort on him and the result is what I am living today. I have all these qualities in him and we are in a beautiful relationship.

I keep sowing the seeds, until the relationship blossoms. As it is not always a path of roses or a humour to laugh on and so is true for our relationship. We also face the hard time and fight often but I make sure to go back to the list of qualities I made and then again everything sought out to be normal and perfect.  I remind myself that Friendships are like gardens; they must be cultivated. The key is to be consistent and persistent—without expectations.

Romance is important. But a solid friendship is the foundation of everything else. And I am blessed enough to announce that we have the strongest foundation possible. And this is the only reason why we can never plummet on our relationship, or on each other. All grace is to God!