Ways to handle stress

The pictures below are taken from web and are self-explanatory in their own way, listing few keys to manage stress. 

But when it comes to actually managing the devil, the biggest problem, the worst nightmare; sometimes even these tips fails to do any good and that’s what makes it difficult for us to face the reality with the good lively spirit.

Hence here I have tried to list down some of my personal favourite ways which are tried and tested in my life and might help you as well.

1. Focus on what you can control:

Most of the things that stresses out have nothing to do with us. They aren’t up to us. They aren’t worth worrying about. 

2. Prepare for it in advance:

Don’t just do positive visualization, do negative visualization as well. Seneca says, the blow you anticipate, lands the least heavy.

3. Morning Journal:

Every morning I spend a few minutes with journal; writing down my thoughts, working out what I am stressed about. Then I do the same thing in the evening, where I review how the day went, what I could do better. Did I really need to be worried? Did my worry make anything better?

4. Have a hobby:

Have something that’s different than your work. It’s different than your kids. That allows you to put some of your energy to good use. 

The Stoice like to say that we should laugh at life, don’t cry about it. That is, don’t let everything weigh on you so much. Life is absurd rather than terrible. 

5. Memento Mori:

You are going to die. We are all going to die. None of this is just permanent. Relax. In the light of your very fragile mortality, almost nothing is worth stressing about.

Wishing you all a very nice and less worrisome life. Don't expect it to be without problems. After-all, it is life and hence synonymous to problems; just be an expert in managing the things what life brings to you.

Looking forward to know your views on these in the comment section below.

Decide when you should get angry

 

Much has been said about anger, an emotion that most of us experience often. We read about anger, we learn anger management tips, and we know that it is an emotion with the power to destroy, and yet when it comes to our own lives, it’s an altogether different story.

Anger may be an emotion that we cannot evade, but the truth is that life is much more beautiful when we learn not to succumb to it.

Let me try and put a story narration in words: There was once a saint who felt like having a bottle of beer. He asked his disciples to get him one. When the shocked disciples did as they were told, the saint simply folded his hands and stared at the bottle.

Later, he asked his disciples to take it away. When one of them asked him, “What was it that you did?” the saint told him something that we all need to understand. He said, “I cannot control the feelings, the emotions, or the temptations but I can definitely control my actions.”

As long as I keep my hands folded, there is no way I can grab this bottle of beer, and even though I cannot control my temptations I can control my actions.

I have realized that when you are angry the best thing to do would be nothing at all. These days, when I get really upset I choose not to say anything. I retire to my room for a couple of minutes, listen to some music, or distract myself. I let myself feel the emotion, but I don’t let myself react.

When we were little kids we used to write with pencils. It was a sign that told us that our mistakes could be corrected. As we grew older we received permanent markers to paint with on the canvas called life. This is because we were expected to take the responsibility of not making irreversible mistakes. Anger doesn’t allow us the irreversible mistakes and hence should be chosen wisely if can’t be controlled.

Now when I am saying that you can not avoid to be angry, then the exquisite minds should have this question; is there any right time to get angry?

Let me try to explain the point of DECIDING WHEN TO GET ANGRY:

Bhishma Pitamah is known to have done only one blunder in life – he did not get angry at the right moment, when Draupati was being disrobed.

Whereas Jatayu is known for only one virtue in his life – he got angry at the right time, when Sita was being kidnapped by Ravana and he tried to save her.

When the time came, both died.

But Bhishma Pitamah died on the bed of arrows and Jatayu died in the lap of Lord Rama.

The vedas state that anger turns into a blessing when it is done for the cause of ethics and morality, and on the other hand, tolerance may turn into a sin when it cannot safeguard ethics and morality.

HENCE DECIDE WISELY WHEN YOU SHOULD GET ANGRY.

 

Story behind the Wallet

 

My Dad kept his wallet in his back right pocket. I remember it being thick and full of things like credit cards, business cards, a little cash, a full year’s calendar, and notes he had torn from pieces of paper. There was also the plastic photo holder filled with pictures of me, my sister, and my mom.

Dad was very far from ever being considered rich, but you’d never know it from his wallet. If we were at dinner with another family, Dad was always the first to grab his wallet in order to pay the bill.

I never thought too much about his wallet until I had a family of my own and discovered how few rupees were usually in mine. I have since learned from my Mom how tight things were when we were growing up. They would talk privately, late into the night, wondering how they were going to make ends meet. But I never knew. Dad’s wallet always seemed to have more than enough as far as I could tell.

There was the time I found my wallet completely empty. I had nowhere to turn, except Dad’s wallet. A difficult and tear-filled phone call home resulted in an immediate gift which to this day, I have no idea how Dad’s wallet managed. Missionaries, after all, are almost always just barely surviving financially. There was never even the slightest hint of repayment.

As Dad grew older, the need for his thick back pocket wallet changed. New technology let him carry around his calendar and notes on his cell phone as well as dozens of photos of his family. Several years ago I noticed Dad’s old wallet had become worn out and it was time for a new one. I found a new slim-lined front pocket wallet and wrapped it up for his birthday. And the same way I bought a new one for my mom too. It was the last wallet she’d carry.

It’s funny how such a simple little thing like a wallet can become meaningful. Just this past week, my Dad and I returned from a trip and as we walked through the airport I mentioned I needed a new wallet because mine had started to fall apart. Shortly after returning home, Dad presented me with a gift. Yes, Mom’s wallet. The same one I had given Mom a few years earlier.

I love this wallet. When he gave me his wallet, he intended for me to use it completely and freely, just as if mom were standing next to me. And I did just that.

As I write this letter to you, Mom’s wallet is resting comfortably in my purse. It was few years ago the Lord took my mom. I can’t help but take Mom’s wallet out and look it over. Each time I do, sweet memories come pouring back. It has my things in it now, so I suppose to my kids it still is “Mom’s wallet.”

Over time, I know Mom’s wallet will wear down and eventually need to be replaced. That’s okay, it’s just a thing. But in many ways, it represents who I am, the choices I make, and how I live my life. And that makes me wonder what my children will remember when they think about “Mom’s wallet.”

May God give me the grace to “give what I cannot keep in order to gain what I cannot lose.”

 

 

Why the story of saree is as complex as its pleats?

I don’t know why it took me so long to write something about this. the thing which is so close to my being and existence, “THE SAREE”. 

The Saree delineates elegance, grace and respect to every lady fortuitous of the fabulous drape. It could be Indira Gandhi communicating nationalism and seriousness through her aristocratic Khadi, it could be Lady Gaga going gaga in a Tarun Tahiliani creation, it could be the white wave at a funeral, it could be the bride Aishwarya in the stunning red and gold zari embellished wedding saree. There is grace in a saree, memories in a saree, there is love in a saree, colours, emotions, stories too but most importantly there is Strength In A Saree. Yes more than anything else, I feel that there is a #strengthinsaree.

I have seen women with strength wearing this boldly and beautifully accentuating the grace they own and courage they hold. Women have been sharing many stories of receiving prestigious awards in their sarees, their first day at work, getting married in their mother’s saree, and many more. 

For me, though, it’s not the special days to decide to wear the pretty thing rather on the low days, I skip wearing this. I have always been in love with these 6 yards of cloth, not because I was born to love it this way but seeing my mom loving it  every day. I remember her, while getting ready for work, after finishing the entire household work, she always used to make sure to drape the prettiest of all, sarees and hitting the pleats strongly to run towards the bus stand to catch a local bus to be on time in office. That’s where I inherit the love for this garment. It was a matter of pride and authority for her at that time, and now for me. And this is the reason, that for anything else, I take it as a symbol of strength.

This is how I live with the memories of my mom every day. Though I have very few of her sarees, but knowing that she is always with me, seeing me strong and bold in the garment that she loved the most, I consider that her blessings are with me, and she is keeping an eye on me to protect me from every evil.

It would be incomplete a write up without mentioning that, it should not always be the costliest, the designer one, the golden zari one, to make you stand out…. But a simple printed one can also do wonders when you wear it with the right spirit and attitude. With saree, you can play it safe at an uncertain dress code occasion because a saree never fails.

Happy saree’ing people. 

Do you relate to me when it comes to saree? 

Please post me with your experiences, memories, and special mentions about your saree stories. Looking forward to hearing from all my readers.

 

Reminders for your darkest moments of self-doubts

Why are we feeling this way—so beaten up and worn down?

 

Why is it that, once fallen, we don’t attempt to rise back up? Or, having lost one thing, why don’t we attempt to seek another?

Why? Why? Why!!!

Because we give up on ourselves too soon.

We let that monster named negativity chew us up and spit us out into a mucky puddle of self-doubt.

And we’ve all been there at some point too. So, if you can relate right now, here are some important reminders to keep handy…

1.   When your marriage, parenting, faith, etc. gets tough, it’s not a sign that you’re doing it wrong. These intricate aspects of life are toughest when you’re doing them right – when you’re dedicating time, having the tough conversations, and making daily sacrifices.

2.   On particularly hard days when you feel that you can’t endure, remind yourself that your track record for getting through hard days is 100% so far. And you don’t want to make it less than that now either.

3.   Have a little faith that the universe has a plan for you, and it’s all being revealed in the right time frame. Something you will eventually learn through all your ups and downs is that there are no wrong decisions in life, just choices that will take your life down different paths. Sometimes you must get hurt in order to grow, or lose in order to gain. Sometimes the lesson you need most can only be learned through a little pain.

4.   Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

5.   Life is not about maintaining the status quo. Life is not about playing it safe every second. Life is not about standing still and wallowing in self-doubt. It’s about connecting with your soul, respecting your integrity, and telling yourself that you’re able. It’s about taking a few steps, regardless of how hard and small they may be, so you can move forward and evolve. 

6.   You must make a firm decision that you’re going to move forward. It won’t always happen naturally or automatically. Sometimes you will have to rise and say, “I don’t care how hard this is. I don’t care how disappointed I am. I’m not going to let this go without getting the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”

7.   No matter what’s happening, you CAN efficiently fight the battles of today. Realize that it’s not the experience of today by itself that devastates you, but the regret and resentment about something that happened yesterday or the fear and dread of what tomorrow might bring. It’s necessary, therefore, to let yourself live just one day at a time – just today – just right here, right now.

8.   When you stop worrying about what you can’t control, you have time to change the things you can control. And that changes everything.

9.   Don’t worry about mistakes and failures, worry about what you’re giving up when you don’t even try.

10.      Making mistakes means you’re actually DOING something in the real world and learning from it. Real learning comes from making mistakes. And mistakes come from gradual implementation.

11.      If you never go after it again, you’ll never have it. If you never ask again, the answer will always be no. If you never step forward again, you’re stuck right where you are.

12.      In the space between “I’ll try again” and “I give up” there’s a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you are capable of being and who you have become.

13.      Everyone has a little talent. What’s rare is the courage to follow it into the dark places where it leads, and beyond. 

14.      Courage doesn’t always roar; sometimes it’s simply a whisper at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.”

15.      If you’re still sitting there thinking, “Things should be different right now,” take a deep breath. That’s not true and you know it. Because if it were true, things would be different right now. Stay present and focus on what you can create today. And tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.

Now, it’s your turn…

It’s your turn to reinforce your better judgment.

All the love and validation you need is yours to give yourself.

Truth be told, someday everything will make better sense. Unimaginably good things will transpire in your life. And you’ll look back at these past times, smile, and ask yourself, “How did I get through all of that?”

So take a deep breath right now. And another…

And, please leave me a comment below and let me know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to me as always.