Keys I Love to Carry

 

Today while sipping my cup my Chai, a strange thought came in my mind and that only influenced me to write this today.

In search of happiness all around, I thought of jotting down those things which makes me go waooooo. And then here my list began.

There were times when the amount of ultimately meaningless this-and-that in my life seem unbearably numerous. During those times, I always felt myself to be overburdened and tend to lose hope. Now I have learned what to do at that moment, and that is, to take a step back and reprioritize. Figure out what is important and what you can momentarily shelf. And that becomes my first key to open the door of contented life. I have learned how not to allow myself overwhelmed with stress.

When the people in my life become overly demanding of my time, attention, or energy (as they often do), I just have to remember that it’s okay to focus on my own needs as well. I have learned that the worst way to cheat your own self is to give priorities to others at the cost of your own self. I hope I will get rid of this completely, very soon, although I have started practicing it already. The key is to take care of yourself just as much as you take care of others.

I always use to mold my interests for external validation or approval which disappointed me many a times. The very thought of not being able to fit my choices in the canvas made by people always brought me shame and feeling of being inferior. But, although not so easily nor so early, I have understood the happy you will only be evident when you show the world (quite well and shamelessly) that you can live up to and carry out your preferences perfectly the way you want them to carry.

One should always distance him/herself from those people who are judgmental, petty, narrow-minded, or self-centered. It is just a waste of time to maintain relationships with people who will never be there to help you when you will need them the most. And also they will always be busy in dragging you down rather than lifting you up. So my search resorted to another key and that is to surround myself with friends who are supportive, kind and nurturing.

I have realized that to disconnect every once in a while is a great practice. One can read, learn and understand what the inner soul wants only when his or her mind wander and remember that there are so many more precious and important matters than the number of likes on latest facebook post or that last what’s app ping in your mobile brings you what new news. I am doing it but the key is “ONLY ONCE IN A WHILE”.

The last I could pen down, although being the most important among all, is always...... always...... always...... ALWAYS remember to smile. Those curves really do wonders to me, to the people around me and to the mind-set I carry every day.

 

 

In Search of a Secret

Today while thinking, what to write or what to do, surprisingly I found a secret.

 I just thought and thought over it again that why can’t I do something which will bring mental peace and busy my mind towards some good cause. Then at that moment only I started browsing internet for the search of “SOMETHING”. Something which I myself was not clear with and on top of that I did not know how to put that “SOMETHING” in words to write in the browser window so that the search will began. To be modest to sound, I did not know how to start; to start something so as to end the thought process of empty mind.

I was on a quest to find out if there is a secret formula to successfully utilize the time and energy in a positive way. What I found was enough to surprise and, at the same time, impressed me. I could say that there is no such formula but yes there are some steps which would definitely increase the chances of “you being occupied in some positive work”.

Most of them are common sense stuff, though there are few odd counter-intuitive tips as well.

 

1. Start – Surely this is the easiest thing to do. Make sure you do it

2. Keep it real – Overnight success are stuff of movies, be true to yourself

3. Keep it a secret – Do not publicize your goals before you even start – apparently your brain interprets it as an achievement of the goal and affects your motivation to actually achieving the goal

4. Celebrate Success – Positive reinforcement works like magic, make sure you celebrate every milestone

5. Buddy-Up – Look around you and identify a source of encouragement and feedback – for that occasional push and to pull you out of the drenches when required

6. Start Again – Expect to go off-track every so often, but important thing is to re-start

7. Mix-it-Up – Variety, they say is the spice of life and indeed is at the heart of keeping your resolution routine interesting.

And while browsing only, i came across one of my friend’s status, matching my mind set and requirement of the time. Being an economics student and also an excellent researcher, he could beautifully summarise the true meaning of life with an amazing reason to keep you moving towards your goals. It goes something like this “If at first you don't succeed, try two more times so that your failure is statistically significan​t....” 

And finally in search of a good Start, I Ended with a secret and that is “ATLEAST START”.

 

My Weekend’s Best Friend: THE TRAIN

It is now a part of my routine to commence a train journey of 12 hours on every alternate weekend. And the only reason is that I am always travelling to and from a place where my heart resides that is my new house (My In-laws House). Train, which I never thought would be doing any good to me, or at least to this extent, is now a best friend I have on weekends. It is a reason and a mode through which I relieve my stress and meet my loved ones. I always board the train after office, so usually it is late evenings. By that time I am usually strained to think of anything else other than to have a comfortable seat and sleep as early as I can. In morning when people start moving, chatting and wakes up before time to find out where they have reached and how much more time will the train take, is when my cozy comfort zone breaks and I have to get up before  time. This is always the time when I want train to fly and reach to the destination as faster as it can. This is the time when both train and time seems to moves slower than normal.  Time just refuses to move ahead and train refuses to speed up. Only thing which builds up at that time is the excitement to meet the people back home and collect the love which they have preserved for me. I just can never thank God enough for the blessings he has showered on me for life and blessed me with such a family. The family for whom I am the priority now and the people who are selflessly doing everything for me, just to see that curve on my face which we all call smile. This is any girl’s dream and I am so happy to have this in reality.

 

On the other hand train also plays a dual role by taking me back to the place where my source of earning and prestige resides. It is also a place where I took birth, spent first 29 years of my life and also where rang my wedding bells. Whenever I board the train from the other corner of the world, I am always relaxed. During this part of my journey I always have a lavish last food, cooked with mom’s hands and packed with full of love. She takes care of every small thing from spoon to tissue paper to tooth pick and never misses to pack every-thing. Usually after having food I have to feel sleepy out of compulsion as the condition of arriving early morning is pre attached. But this is the time when sleep runs away from me and my heart and mind continue to remain busy missing people I came left behind. This is the sign of how my priorities have changed and so as my preferences. Although I never, even in my dreams, thought this to happen but it happened and I never even realized when it happened and how?

 

But one thing that doesn’t change in the whole process of to and fro is the role of Best Friend “THE TRAIN”. It is a source not only to connect places but also hearts and souls.

 

Then Again My Heart Approves

Just few months back, when the mischievous, happy-go-lucky ME and the reserved, no-nonsense HE decided to be life partners for rest of their life to come, people started to believe that opposite really attracts. At that was the time when all the mouths and minds were continuously thinking that would the chirpy girl from a metropolitan; can ever adjust in a small town where her husband lives?

I always believed that the feelings which I have for my own home (my mom-dad’s place) can never be replicated for any other place or for any other person. I always considered the place to be always full of strong affections. It was life’s first stage and that too for all the undressed rehearsals...it was back room, dressing room......it was entire unreserved......... I just cannot imagine myself saying and feeling the same for anything else, no matter what!

But then life changed and so was my mind set. I had a whole new set of people around me and a whole new family to live in after getting married. I was petrified. Always having those sparrows circling my head, I use to think, will I be having my own space here in this new house? Can I ever live on my own terms and likings here? With all these questions getting bold and finally getting answered with time, today I can say that it’s not the place but the people around you and at home, makes it a place worth living in and worth living for.

I can’t thank God enough to bestow me with his blessings in the form of divinest husband and Parents in law. Words cannot describe how fated I am to have them in my life. They have selflessly given more to me than I could have ever asked for. They never made me realize that I am missing my duties and responsibilities of being a daughter in law due to the commitments I always have towards my career or studies or what not..... Rather they always supported me in all the tough times by standing strong and shielding me from all the troubles. My lovely husband has been unbelievably supportive. He is a promise from GOD that I will have a FRIEND FOREVER. My mother in law has made me laugh. Wiped my tears, hugged me tight, watched me succeed, seen me fail, cheered me on, and kept me going strong. My dad in law told me that Daughter-in-law, you've added to our family a warm and charming touch. We know you as a daughter now and love you very much.

Now I feel that Well sometimes, HOME IS A PERSON.......Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition.....You can go other places, all right - you can live on the other side of the world, but you can't ever leave home.......Home is where somebody notices, when you are no longer there......Home is where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in........ Today wherever I go or wherever I stay, I always want to get back to my home (NEW) to be with my extended family...... You all made me realized and helped me in getting the answer to the question that “why it never worked out with anyone else?”

Fading Shades of Black

 

Life becomes more meaningful when I started my journey of being WE. It is so beautiful to have a company of someone in all your goods and bads, greys and blacks, ups and downs and also in all your deeds right or wrong! You just want to look the best to make the hottest of couple around. You want to look extra beautiful to get that loving compliment in a super lovely way from the one you love the most. The journey brings you the feeling called WAAAOOOO...when you want everything in place and perfectly perfect.

 

 

 But with time I realized that charm loses to fade. And everything is just not the same. Coz i feel the spark to look beautiful, spark to look the best around and spark to get those lovely comments started getting dim somewhere. Those extra special treatments and craving to visit the costliest of parlours is taking a back seat.

 

Why and why now? Those were the questions my mind wanted to find out answers for. Exactly then I realized that it is the increased and non-matching velocity of the hair colour to get disappear is troubling me. The fading behaviour of hiding tool and leaving behind those greys popping out of beautiful blacks is not being able to keep up the pace with normal time. Off lately, visits to the places called beauty salons started demanding my more time and patience, which I just refused to give. That’s when started the fight between the hunger for looking beautiful and the extra time out of the fully packed schedule.

 

 

Oh God! The thing which my husband doesn’t like is the thing I hate to hide (although I really want to)! And the reason was simple, just because it needs to be done so many times a month. God can u please help in inventing a better solution for greying? And dear Husband can you please consider the day, when I colour my hair, as the only day in a month when you can appreciate everything about me!