Born
and brought up in the capital of the country, you can call me a big town girl,
belonging to a middle-income group family by virtue of birthing in a service
class family. No big or fancy profits at the end of every month but a
hard-earned salary getting credited into the account of both of my working
parents. We, I, and my sister, have been taught from the beginning that to earn
something extra you have to be little more extra ordinary because the resource
set at your disposal is very limited. I still remember how for claiming that
one piece of, so called imported, chocolates; I and my sisters have always been
advised to get some unrealistic grades or some next to impossible positions.
Although they looked like the most difficult things to achieve, but with the
end rewards attached to them, they always made us work hard to achieve. Moral
of the story, which we have been living since childhood now is, EARN IT TO HAVE
IT.
Educational
Endowments
What made me a decision maker since
the beginning is the liberty to choose when others of my age were served with
an already chosen plater. That played a major role in making me a present version
of myself . At that point in time, it was really a matter of pride to choose or
decide for my own self as to what I want to pursue further up in my studies and
that’s when I decided a non-medical background for myself, when my father
wanted both his daughters to be doctors. So, I decided to be a doctor in my own
field when, back in those days, doctor was just a synonymous to medical
profession. This was the starting point when I decided to be an Economist.
My
love affair
It was during my masters when I met
this guy and fell in love with. Knowing that he comes from an entirely
different family background, culturally different set up and most importantly
from a state which is like “some 3-digit number” miles away. But I take pride
in stating that after fighting all the odds against us, we could manage to
continue our long-distance relation then and a married couple now.
Electrifying
corporate life
It is during the end of our master’s
degree when I got into a good corporate job, and he decided to move back to his
town to do something more exciting, matching his choice and alignment of mind.
Actually, or probably, this is the only common thing we have between us; TO BE
THE DECISION MAKERS FOR OURSELVES. He went back to initiate a start-up in those
times when literally the dictionary did not have this word called “STARTUP” in
it. And this made our love story harder, because making a middle-class service
man (my dad) understand the meaning of start-up was the toughest thing to do.
And when every father wants a king to marry his daughter, you cannot convince
him easily to married off her daughter to a person who is just in the initial phase
of investing without a prior date of returns attached to this. But I happily
claim to sail through all of it, though it took a lot of time.
Parting
away from my earning profile
Always being known for making the bold
decisions in my family, I decided to take one more of such decisions wherein I
decided to quit my job, which was paying me handsomely at that time, to join a
full time Ph.D. program and starting again as a student. Afterall, this also was
a prestige as I could crack the only seat, to enter one of the best
universities of not only the country but the world. Since this decision took
away the financial independence so I had to constraint myself on many grounds
to a given limited income coming via fellowship.
This phase did not only give me the
wisdom to follow a sustainable lifestyle but also exposed me to the world full
of realities. Reality of being able to survive with the basic minimum means of
living, reality to survive when you do not have fancy earnings, reality to see
the world in a one Levis jeans worn for more than a month etc. etc. I really
had my learning curve moving upward during this phase of my life, when I was
surrounded with the most intellectual population and the best mentors to guide
me through, not only my thesis, but life.
This was the time when I visited most
of the states and could also crossed the international boundaries just because
I could manage to work well on my projects, my research works and my
assignments. I was exposed to the world full of shining and same minded people and
had the privilege to interact to the best mentors of the world in my field of
study. God was really kind enough to me as I was given my fair chance to grow
up once again. I cannot be more thankful for this time of my life, which
majority of population can only dream to live off.
Enquiry
time
Many
of you must have been wondering as to why was I do not get stable in life till now.
May be because, “Change is the only constant thing” was my life’s principle and
that kept me going.
When wishes got granted
When
I got married and started living with my husband and his family in a state,
many miles away, from mine, I got through the most prestigious and the most
difficult of all the tests to enter the Government Jobs. That was a dream come
true and I thought I got everything which I ever wished for. And that was the
point, I thought, will bring the stability into my otherwise volatile and a
nomadic life.
Entering a secured job structure with
the most respected and fancy facilities and the finest salary package, I joined
the service around 7 years back. The only drastic decision I took at that time
was to again have a long-term relationship with my husband as we decided to
work in two different states. But this did not bother both of us at that time
as we were young and enthusiastic enough to travel miles, every weekend or to
explore the places on our mutual off days. That’s how the life moved, and I had
nothing to complain about.
Entry
of liveliness
Kids
happened and I found myself standing on the crossroad of life, thinking as to
what all and how to manage further with two kids and two different workstations
of mine and my husband’s.
Afterall,
we still live in the world of dilemma where women have historically been the
primary caretaker of children and in the same vein, men have historically been
the breadwinners and are expected to succeed in their careers to be providers.
But again, going against all the myths and at the same time, duly supported by
everyone in the family, I decided to move back to my workplace with two kids (under
two) along and we mutually decided that papa (my husband) will keep moving in
and out of the state and I will remain stationary at one station.
Again, I must appreciate that no one
interfered in my decision of moving away from my in-law’s family with the kids,
when they had all the reasons and liberty to do that. But they all supported my
decision and allowed me the flexibility of being my own decision maker. I
really respect them for this and cannot thank them enough for giving me the
most wanted liberty and courage.
Self-calling
Things
were moving on, but there was a guilt within me which kept on firming in with
time that I was doing a crime to keep the kids away from their father and the
most precious love of their grandparents. As they say, that when you get stuck,
take the time away and when you come back, you will know if it’s working for
you or not. And that is the moment when clarity comes in. That’s what I did to get my mind clear off all
the thoughts clouding my thought process. And this was the time again when I
decided to take another bold decision of my life. Yes, again a decision, a life
changing one.
I
decided to quit my Government Job, a gazetted post, a post with lot many
prestigious powers and benefits attached to it. The decision which I took was
of the kind that not even one in millions take. There wasn’t even one single
person I met or heard from, who supported this decision of mine when it comes
to professional growth with job stability of a working professional.
The
only thing which kept me strong on this decision was MY PRIORITY IN LIFE which
was and will always be my FAMILY. Families set the stage for future
relationships; when life gets hard, feeling of acceptance and understanding
only comes from family; it is only the family that provides affection and
encouragement which a person needs to feel content. It is only family that
foster a sense of belonging to something greater than oneself. It is only those
people who have been raised in the close families, develop healthier
relationships throughout their lives. I have lived to the fact that it is the
family where I have learnt how to manage my emotions, how to interact with
others. It was the first setting where I learnt about the consequences, punishments,
and the concept of rewards. These lessons only shaped my world view and helped
me to see how the world worked. Along with the life lessons, I have learned all
the value systems by and being within my family. It is only the healthy families that forms
the backbone of any healthy society. And then I decided to not to dare take
this away from my kids.
I
took this decision of shifting back to my husband’s place and fitting myself
into a private work set up for my kids to grow up in an atmosphere where they
find a sense of belongingness, where they find their mamma and papa both loving
them equally, where their grandparents shower them with their choicest
blessings and love, where they can grow each day to be a better version of
their self.
