"Every day is a
journey, and the journey itself is home."
- Matsuo Basho
Behind our house, there’s a
yard. Each morning, clouds rise from the valley. Dew covers small spider webs
in the grass, making them shine. The webs are made of many tiny threads. By
noon, the dew is gone. By sunset, most of the webs disappear too. So much
effort and beauty rising and falling unnoticed.
I started thinking about my
countless little daily efforts that go unnoticed. Preparing the meals, packing
the lunches, cleaning the counters organizing the scattered things and clutter,
making the bed, tidying my inbox, folding laundry, … to what end? It’s a
question that I’ve asked myself - and have been asked by others - a lot. I
think it’s a question that comes from the mistaken belief that there is some
end.
Life isn’t a product, but a
practice. Spiders weave their fading webs not for the future
but for a future. They weave, wait, repair because
that’s what it takes to live. Their webs often catch nothing, they get damaged
or totally destroyed. All of their efforts will disappear over time, and that’s
totally natural.
We have cultivated a rather
unnatural context of effort. Much of our effort has become commoditized and
transactional. We work for money. We workout for health. We learn for skills.
We share for likes. We eat for enjoyment. This context causes suffering in
three significant ways.
First, transactional efforts
set expectations that are increasingly difficult to meet. The more we expect
from what we do, the more likely we are to be disappointed. Be it career,
relationships, travel, health, wealth, social media has set our expectations
impossibly high in almost every dimension. When we compare our effort and
results to the world, it often leaves us feeling chronically less than,
disappointed, frustrated, bitter, demotivated, resentful.
Secondly, we do fewer things
for their own sake. Focusing on outcomes often diminishes the process. Doing
the bed just to get it done isn’t fun. Doing it while listening to a podcast,
or to calm the space is enjoyable.
Lastly, the “to what end”
mindset can opaque the very answers we’re looking for, and they are hiding in
plain sight.
When we simply stop doing
these fleeting activities, the quality of our life drops dramatically. Be it
our homes, relationships, or health, what we don’t care for, deteriorates. Not
only this, but all that shimmers in our life today is the legacy of the
countless strands - no matter how thin, thankless, or transient - we spun day
after day after day. To what end? Look around. Everything we love in our life
is resulted from countless forgotten efforts. Forgotten, not meaningless.
We often practice beating
ourselves up for the things we got wrong. What if we practiced being grateful
for the person who allowed you to enjoy a clean house, a healthy meal, a
resilient relationship? It all took a lot of work, most of which is invisible
to all but you.
By acknowledging our tiny
efforts today, we create the conditions to have more trust, compassion, and
even love for ourselves tomorrow. Though our efforts are fleeting, these
qualities are timeless, and it’s much easier to practice life with someone you’re
grateful for.
Thank you for taking the
time,
Tanu
