Husband - Wife Conversation: which are not always on cup of coffee

 

Wife (W):   You do not understand my problem!

Husband (H):   And what is your problem which I do not understand?

W:               You do not understand that we should not be keeping any relation with your XYZ relatives.  Mrs. XYZ abused me for no reason. And this is her routine job of being impolite and always be ready to take out the shortcomings in whatever I do.

H:               See we cannot leave everyone for just a reason that they do no good to us. Why do you bother so much?  What if you do not think much about her or for that matter about anyone who is just not important to us? Can’t you leave the things then and there only?

W:               See, this is the reason I always say that you do not understand me. Rather you care for your relatives more than me.

H:               It is not about being caring to someone. Rather I am explaining you these things because I feel that I have that right on you and I assume that only you can understand these things better. I have no right to explain anything to Mrs. And Mr. XYZ just because they are not important to me.

W:               No! I know you cannot explain things to anyone. You can only suggest me to leave negative things and negative thoughts behind. And you cannot do anything about the wrong people (your loving relatives) around.

                   You can leave things behind because it’s not you who face it, but it is only me who has to undergo everything and that too so regularly. You always ask me to run in the shoes which I am wearing, but my advice is that you should only try and walk in my shoes once. Then probably you will understand my state of mind.

H:               This is something you perceive and probably this only is not allowing you to live happily with all the resources and people you have. My only suggestion to you is have some peace of mind and allow me to have mine too?

And usually after this, Husband leads a normal routine and wife ends us having even a worse state of mind for rest of the time or till the time they have any next conversation.

Many (especially SHE group) would think that a male cannot understand a personal front because he is over-occupied with the professional things happening at his end. Whereas, a female has to live with a dual responsibility of being a Professional Home Maker, so she has to deal with people (positive or negative) more often or more number of times than the male. SO she cannot leave the thoughts and bad things besides and lead a normal life.

 

My View (What I have learnt from my life in recent past): I think it is both Husband and Wife who have to understand each other. If wife does not want to do something and on the other hand husband does not want to leave that something, then they should resort to a mid-way, instead of parting their own ways. May be wife can end up doing just a bit and husband should not be too much involved in that particular thing. A balanced way is the only solution and then only both “H” and “W” can pursue a happy relation.

A husband should not always adopt an explaining attitude towards his wife. He should also try to listen to her and understand her point of view. On the other hand, a wife should not always adopt a complaining attitude. Rather she should also try to adjust, to certain extent, with the things and people around.

 

No relation is without arguments, sorrows or bad moments, but the shorter their life is, the better it is for a healthy relation. And it is only “H” and “W” who can mutually decide the life of bad moments. And the mutual consent, compromising behaviour, the importance to the bond they share, shapes their decision. As the saying goes, Excess of everything is bad. So being over explaining (which generally “H” is) or being over complaining (the typical “W” attitude) is bad too. Hence the only solution is that “H” and “W” should learn how to keep promises they have made to one another, how to live up to the words they have said to each other, how not to neglect all-together the each-other’s point of view and the most important being how to compromise for the lively and a happy relation with one another. Just trust each other blindly, and then only you can realize that the path on which the other person is taking you leads to GOD.

 

LOVE SHOULD ALWAYS PREVAIL.

Art of dealing negative minds around

Remember you are not a reason. Know that you're never the cause of their mood swings. They might have some unreasonable pressure as they cannot cope up with the weight of their pressure, have a bad home life or be incompetent to do their job. Do your best to not take anything they say or does personally. Acknowledge that, whenever their bad moments are outweighing the good, you can't possibly know everything that's going on with them.

Recognize what you can and cannot change. Every day we have to get along with people who aren't necessarily people we'd ask over for dinner or have intimate chats with. They are just the people whom we need to get along with from all walks of life, regardless of their personalities. So, what you cannot change is the people or their moods; only they themselves can do that after having an epiphany and maybe that moment will never come, so stop waiting around for it. What you can change is your response to peoples’ moodiness and the way you see it impacting you. Should you choose to see it as reflecting on you personally, you will have a much harder and less pleasant time than should you choose to see the them being of a certain temperament and liable to unleash moodiness on anyone in their vicinity. By recognizing that you cannot change them but that you can take a realistic perspective, you take the first step in improving your own situation.

Stay healthy and well rested. It is much harder to deal with other people when you're sleep deprived, hungry, nutritionally unbalanced, and lacking in exercise outlets. You can easily start to see the world through the lens of the small circle in which you're moving because work soon becomes everything rather than one part of your whole life. The importance of daily exercise, regular and healthy sleep patterns, and nutritionally sound eating comes to the fore when dealing with difficult people because you will have your wits about you, you'll feel strong in body and mind, and you won't be prey to the fears that can creep up unawares when feeling tired, despondent, and under-the-weather.

Move on. While people need to be re-educated, this isn't going to happen in a hurry, and quite possibly not within the time you spend with them. You have a choice to either stay miserable about it or to do something that improves your quality of life. If things that are suggested above work for you, great. However, sometimes the circumstances in which you find yourself are so debilitating to you that you cannot function properly and your performance continues to suffer. In this case, the solution may be to move on Take gradual steps to changing your situation by just parting away with those chunks of people. And for doing that and taking this bold step, the power rests with you alone. No one else can do it for you.

Keep sending the positive vides around and just believe in the fact that every time you subtract negative from your life, you make a room for more positive. And just a final word “Don’t let the NOISE of other people OPINIONS drown out your INNER VOICE”.

 

 

Week went by and left "A BETTER ME"

Last Week laid a learning stone in bringing out the better me. It has been a week when I realised that worrying for things which I can't change, getting frustrated about the people around me, getting stressed up for (not so good) treatment I receive from others and on top of that seeing the most close ones not changing even a bit for good....... All of this was taking me down on a lane where my health was getting deteriorated, positivity in me was taking a back seat, socializing was the last thing on my "things to do list", the charm i always use to carry seems to leave me behind......In short I've just lost my goody goody self in the materialitic, tension giving world somewhere.

Now I have understood that the world will never change for me, nor does crazy people stop to exist, neither they will change their behaviour nor their self for any dam thing or for anyone. All I have learnt over a last week is to be ur own self and stop geting stressed up for the things and people who just don't deserve even a single second of your thoughts.

Hence all i have to sum up is that "I no longer have patience for certain things, not because i have become arrogant but simply because i have reached to a point in my life where i do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurt me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. 

I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not adjust to popular gossiping and hate conflict and comparisions. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience. 

FINALLY: A Better Me From "A" to "Z"