Socializing + Solitude = Balanced Life

Deep down, we all find it draining having to talk to too many people.

Having an active social life is one of the strongest predictors of longevity and good health. Human connection is one of the most fundamental and important human drives. But it can also be our most tiring!

Quick question: raise your hand if you ever get tired after talking to too many people. Did you raise your hand? Congrats: you’re human!

I think we tend to overplay our differences, and underestimate just how similar we all really are deep down in our basic needs, striving, and frustrations. Our common humanity. Emerging trends reflect that even though we each show distinct patterns of thoughts, motivations, and behaviors that make us different from each other, we actually display the whole spectrum of behaviors in our everyday life. Everybody sometimes gets tired from too many social interactions, sometimes acts like a jerk, sometimes is lazy, etc. Just some of us are consistently more so on a regular basis than others.

The next question I would like to ask you is if you know if you are an introvert or an extrovert? Understanding your social type can make a huge impact on the quality of your life. Sorting people into introverts and extroverts is a convenient way of arranging people into two different categories of social type. But I acknowledge that this is not a black and white issue, so very few people are complete extroverts or complete introverts.

The most prominent descriptions about introverts can be that they need to be alone and recharge after too many social interactions. While this is undoubtedly true, does this really differentiate introverts from extroverts?

It is found that the more people were acting extroverted and conscientious, the more they reported being in a positive mood and feeling lower levels of fatigue in the moment, but after few hours they show higher levels of fatigue.

Nevertheless, there are real differences between introverts and extroverts that shouldn't be ignored. For one, introverts really do prefer solitude and quiet time more, on average, than extroverts. Also, it is observed that extroverts are more driven to engage in social interactions that particularly increase social status or social attention.

There is direct evidence suggesting that too much socializing is draining for everyone. Indeed, in general, it is recorded that when under stress, tired, or living in crowded circumstances, people often choose to be alone if they can. Taken together, all of this suggests that for most humans on this planet, having a reasonable amount of social interaction and working hard toward goals makes people feel good, but too much of either tends to make people tired after a few hours.

We fall somewhere along the line between extroversion and introversion. Awareness of your position on this spectrum of introversion and extroversion is one of the important steps in discovering your perfect balance between social and solitude. With this knowledge you can begin living more enjoyable life by finding your golden ratio of social time and solitude. The balance between the two will help you move closer to your optimal point of your energy and well being.