Rules to a game of LOVE & IMPORTANCE

We all grow up with some healthy stories about love and some unhealthy ones too.

Some beautiful ones are: Loving people means believing their potential, loving means treating people with kindness and gentleness, loving the people in your life means celebrating their success and cheering them on.

Some stories about love that I came to see weren’t so helpful are those ideas which usually bred problems in one’s relationships. Some of them are: Loving someone means always being available to them, another myth about love is, if you love someone, you do what they are asking you to do, out of love, even if it feels difficult.

I’ve developed my own guidelines for loving the people in my life, guidelines that express how I want to relate to people around me. I am sure some of them are yours too…..

1.    Tell them about their brilliance: They likely can’t see it and they don’t know its immensity, but you can see it, and you can illuminate it for them.

2.    Be authentic, and give others the gift of the real you and a real relationship: Ask your real questions. Share your real beliefs. Go for your real dreams. Tell your truth.

3.    Listen, Listen and Listen: Don’t listen to determine if you agree or disagree. Listen to get to know what is true for the person in front of you. Remember that if, in any conversation, nothing piqued your curiosity and nothing surprised you, you weren’t really listening.

4.   Don’t waste your time and energy thinking about how they need to be different: Really. Chuck the whole thing. Their habits are their habits. Their personalities are their personalities. Let them be, and work on what you want to change about you – not what you think would be good to change about them.

5.    Give of yourself, but never sacrifice or compromise yourself: Stop if resentment is building and retool. Don’t do the martyr thing. It helps no one and nothing.

6.   See their value: Remember that everyone you encounter was created by the divine intelligence and has an important role to play in the universe. Treat them as such.

7.    Accept this as your mantra and try to live as if it were true: EVERYTHING THAT I EXPERIENCE FROM ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IS EITHER LOVE OR A CALL FOR LOVE.

At the same time I have learnt that when you give more importance to someone in life, you tend to lose your importance in their life……. I read a quote which cleared up a lot of confusion and hopefully it will help you too. “IF IT IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO YOU, YOU WILL FIND A WAY. IF NOT, YOU WILL FIND AN EXCUSE”.

Sometimes, you may not be successful in receiving back the kind and amount of importance you have given to someone. But worry not! Just believe in that it is OK, there will be times when you are in the same position as well. Don’t get hung up over it and don’t let it get you down or deter you from giving importance to other people in the future. The right people will always reciprocate, I can vouch for that. Hence I believe that sometimes the best way to get someone’s attention is to stop giving them yours.

At the end, I would just like to remind and assure that all the relationships are beautiful and made in heaven. All that we have to do is to choose accurately the relationship God has made for us and give our one hundred percent in that relation to reap us love, care, respect and support throughout our life.

The mantras are not the perfect ones but I am somewhat attached to them and believe in them.